By Daniel Wright
There are some things that keep me up at night. No, not scary stories or random fears, but pressing, serious, and unanswered thoughts and questions. Now, fair warning, it is entirely possible and maybe even probable that you won’t find any of these thoughts as interesting or crazy as I do. Deal with it. With that said, let’s jump into 10 shower thoughts that keep me up at night.
“Go to sleep, you’ll feel better in the morning” is just the human version of “Turn it off and then on again.”
Aren’t we just biological machines?
If elevators and escalators had never been invented, having your office on the first floor will be a sign of importance.
I would definitely avoid working in a tall building.
Tall people are expected to use their reach to help shorter people, but if a tall person were to ask a short person to hand them something they dropped on the floor, it'd be insulting.
Don’t get offended; you’re closer to it than I am.
Lemons are not a naturally occurring fruit, so really, life has never given us lemons, we gave them to ourselves.
Aren’t limes more sour than lemons anyway?
The syllables in the phrase “On your mark, get set, go” are a countdown.
3...2...1...GO!
If you decide that you are indecisive, aren’t you being decisive?
I have decided to decide that indecisive people are people who can’t decide what to decide and are deciding to not decide what to decide. Does that make sense? You decide.
Why isn’t the word “phonetic” spelled the way it sounds?
ENGLISH DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE WHATSOEVER. Like if we say tough like “tuff” why isn’t it spelled that way? This leads me to...
What if English were consistent?
Imagine that for a second: tough would be spelled “tuff” or, even better, dough would be pronounced “duff.”
If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?
Did you succeed at failing? Did you just succeed? If you actually failed, then didn’t you really succeed since you failed like you wanted to?
Why is it that airports have insane security before you get on the plane (and to even get to your gate) but you can walk up to the luggage claim and grab literally any bag on there?
For real, there is no one protecting all of your valuables in those bags. Anyone can take anything, and it won’t get questioned by any airport employee or security guard.